My Crystal Skull Hurts

So we bundled up the kiddos and went to see Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull last Friday. Kiddos really liked it. I think both of them put it before Raiders. I hate to say this, but maybe that's why I didn't like it--I just wanted something a little more than what would be enjoyable to an almost-ten- and almost-eight-year-old.

I mean, I know you always have to suspend the disbelief big-time in these movies. But my disbelief suspension reservoir drained quite a bit when Indy survived that thing he really shouldn't have survived at the beginning of the movie (spoiler free review here folks). Then it sprung multiple leaks when those spooky monkey native guys attacked them. What, were they just waiting around for years until Dr. Jones arrived? And no comments from Dr. Jones, not even "Jeez, what's with the spooky monkey guys?"

I liked seeing Karen Allen, I didn't even mind Shia LeBoof or however you spell his name. There just wasn't enough plot, and the action scenes were either rehashes of previous Indy movies, rehashes of other movies (oh my god, how can I be comparing an Indiana Jones movie to National Treasure of all things?), or so overly CGI-ed that it didn't impress like the older movies.

Bottom line: I liked Iron Man way better. You may now order me my "I'm an Old Fuddy-Duddy" button.

And while I'm posting about fake guitar games...

I called EA today to ask about my friggin' wireless guitar controller for Rock Band. Interestingly they said they were backordered on them (cough remanufacturing cough) but that they were sending out a free wired guitar to people who were waiting for their guitars. I'd rather have a wireless one, but hey, if they want to send me a free guitar, I'll take it.

Guitar Hero R.I.P.?

I wondered why Kotaku posted something about the death of Guitar Hero today. Then I saw the video for the upcoming DS version of Guitar Hero and understood. Ars Technica also has a post about it. Basically, it makes it look utterly, totally lame. And is that really Scott Weiland? Oh my God.

Guitar Hero DS: a new trailer, some bad, bad ideas (Ars)

In NYC, it easy to get taxi

Since it's Wednesday, I thought the only game-related thing that would make me laugh until I cried would be Zero Punctuation, or Penny Arcade.

I didn't expect it to be a review of the upcoming Incredible Hulk game on Gamespot.

"HULK TIRED OF TYPING ABOUT HULK GAME!"

The Incredible Hulk Hands-On

The Golden Compass

One could either look at this film as a dumbed-down version of the Pullman book, or a simplified version. I'm not sure I was a big enough fan of the book to consider it dumbed-down. It was definitely simplified and probably easier to follow for younger kids. I read the story summary on Wikipedia and even THAT wasn't easy to follow (although the film certainly makes it more clear that Dust equals original sin, even if they never call it that). I thought the young girl playing Lyra did a great job, showing the character's determination and wildness. Nicole Kidman was all right as Mrs. Coulter, James Bond is hardly in the movie as Lord Asriel, and all the Magisterium people are adequately creepy, with Count Dracula-Dooku-Saruman yet again cast as the big baddie. SFX were good, yay polar bears.

Ultimately I think I'm going to have to re-read the books, though. I remember thinking that the writing was much better than, say, the Harry Potter books, but reading those story summaries had me thinking "Is that really what happened? Jeez, what a mess!" Maybe if I read them again it'll sink in better. Oh, sorry, back to the movie. It was fine, I think Anna would really enjoy it. I wonder if it did well enough internationally to warrant the second and third films... I kind of think it didn't.

Iron Man

Quick review of the movie and of the moviegoing experience:

Movie: I liked it a lot. Not ga-ga over it--it seemed to drag towards the end, and the final battle just didn't make sense to me as far as what happened. But it was the acting and the script that really made this film and not the special effects, and ultimately that should be true of every film, even the special effects extravaganzas. Robert Downey Jr. was perfect as Tony Stark, Gwynneth was fine (on multiple levels, he said knowingly, nudge nudge), and there were some great secondary roles (particularly the creepy S.H.I.E.L.D. representative whose name escapes me but you've seen him in a bunch of films).

Moviegoing experience: Whoa, totally sucked. Firstly, the picture quality was quite bad. Movie theaters are going to have to get with the program and realize that people's screens at home are giving way better results. The quality made me want to see it again, but this time at home via Blu-Ray or even a HD download.

Secondly, here we are at an 8PM showing of Iron Man. There are at least 4 or 5 kids in the theater, and I'm talking 3- to 5-year-old kids. Throughout the movie, one of them is talking very loudly. It made Maria mad enough that she basically swore off going to see movies like Iron Man in the theaters, and I can't blame her for that. It wasn't so much the noise as the mentality of some parents, or lack thereof.

Misadventures in dating

In Liberty City, that is.

I was at the point in GTA4 where I needed to get something going with "Michelle," a friend of a friend of my cousin Roman. This unfortunately took me much more time than I was expecting.

Try 1: picked her up and took her to a bar. I think I sideswiped a police car on the way and had to lose them first. (Turns out that you can run red lights right and left in Liberty City, but don't sideswipe the cops.) OK, lost them. Took her to the bar. I didn't know I wouldn't be given the choice to NOT drink. I was very VERY drunk leaving the bar. Driving home was NOT fun (take that, MADD), but I made it, and was invited upstairs (woo hoo!). But then I managed to jump off a bridge (don't ask) and lost all my money. Restart.

Try 2: picked her up and took her to a chicken place. (By the way, Michelle doesn't mind it when I run red lights willy-nilly, but she isn't fond of the sideswiping either.) Much easier drive home, but she rejected my advance. Restart.

Try 3: bought a new jacket and some glasses first, which she seemed to like. Picked her up and took her bowling. Oops, spent all my money getting new threads and had none left to bowl! Drove around aimlessly with her without knowing what to do to either get money or take her home. Restart.

Try 4: hotwired another car, picked her up and took her to Burger Shot. (Thank goodness Michelle is a cheap date.) Took her home and... success! Went home and saved.

Unfortunately, all these tries took waaaay too long to do and I stayed up waaay too late. In the real world, not in Liberty City.

loudQUIETloud

I realize that this documentary isn't new--it came out in 2006 I think--but I'm still enjoying loudQUIETloud: a film about the Pixies. I was quite the Pixies fan back in the day (y'know, back when I actually listened to new music :) and it's fascinating to watch this film on their 2004 reunion tour, hear what each band member had been doing (the two members who weren't Black Francis and Kim Deal were ekeing out a living, which is a shame for such an influential group), and of course get to watch concert footage of them performing their songs.

One scene struck me in particular, not really sure why. They were touring in Iceland, and there was a gaggle of teenage girls getting Kim to give them autographs. After she left, the girls were just screaming in delight. Not sure why it got to me: maybe because these girls were still fans even though they were probably not old enough to remember when the Pixies broke up; maybe because they seemed to really look up to Kim as a role model of a real female rocker. Not sure. It got to me, though.

And just to tie this back in to videogames, I am TOTALLY getting Doolittle when the album comes available later in the year in Rock Band. Bet me and the kids could do a mean version of "Hey" if not for that unfortunate repetition of the word "whore" (at least it only shows up once in "In Bloom").

Piece of junk Rock Band wireless guitar

In an attempt to jump start the economy I profligately purchased an Xbox 360 Rock Band wireless guitar from Gamestop. Thought it'd be fun to allow all four of us to play if we wanted to.

Got it in, turned it on, paired it to my 360, fired up Rock Band and... no overdrive! I'm tipping the guitar, I'm shaking the guitar, I'm smacking it on the back like it was choking on a piece of hot dog... nothing.

Checked the forums and sure enough, lots of people are reporting the same problem. Some people even reporting that they're on their fifth guitar with the same problem.

But I couldn't be that unlucky, could I? I call Gamestop and ask them if I can exchange it. Sure, they say, we have another one in stock, bring it down.

New wireless guitar set to go and... no overdrive!

I call EA today. It's going to take 10 days for them to get me the UPS box to ship it back in, let's say 5 days to get it back to them, 10 days for them to turn it around, and then another 5 days to get it back to me. 30 days in all. And they don't provide the option of sending me out a new guitar with a credit card number as collateral.

Man, if that game wasn't so much fun...

My Kid Could Paint That

Just finished watching My Kid Could Paint That , a documentary on a four-year-old girl, Marla Olmstead, who started painting abstract art that seemed beyond the usual blobs and swishes that, well, my kid could paint. Her paintings started selling for tens of thousands of dollars, articles and news stories ran worldwide about her, and the filmmaker started making his documentary about her.

Then a 60 Minutes story ran about Marla, raising questions as to whether she had painted some of her paintings. The documentary film crew is there at the same time, filming their reaction to the 60 Minutes piece, and then the documentary itself takes a left turn and itself questions the truthfulness of the paintings.

And that is the key to what I liked so much about this documentary: the age-old question "what is truth?" There's multiple layers of this question present in this film. It's discussed when an art historian goes into why people dislike modern art (many consider it less "truthful" than imagery that is more realistic and therefore ostensibly more "truthful"). It's in the background when everyone is trying to get Marla to paint a piece, start to finish, while a camera rolls... hoping that that will once and for all confirm the fact that Marla painted the paintings all by herself (which of course got me thinking about Heisenberg and how the act of measuring, even at a subatomic level, influences the actions). The filmmaker even points out that his film has varying levels of truth, by deciding what to show and what to edit out (the scene towards the end of the film with a Times reporter in particular hammers this point home).

Not the slickest documentary out there, but an interesting story, and an interesting story about the story.